The reason we want things isn’t that they’ll make us happy. Often, getting what we want does give a rush of happiness. But we can be fooled into thinking this is the sensation of having that thing. In fact, it’s the sensation of getting it. We are feeling the change in our status, not its new level. This is why it fades.You’d have to be consistently improving your lot to stay happy, and if you ever hit your potential, it is fleeting.
One consolation is that the reverse is true: if a major loss doesn’t have recurring consequences, you only feel it temporarily. Before long, you’re back to your previous level of happiness even if you’re worse off. Neither positive nor negative events have a long term lasting effect on happiness.
We’re surprisingly stable. Within that, how do we get happier?
Optimists have a tendency to make lemonade out of lemons, and to then see the glass as half-full when it’s half-empty. It’s an admirable quality, one that can positively affect mental and physical health. Some optimists consistently ascribe benevolent motives to others and interpret situations in the best possible light; others simply disassociate their internal mood from external circumstances, no matter how sticky.
Being relatively happy depends on being relatively at peace and relatively contented!
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